Oh god I wish I wasn’t having a good day if only this was a bad one then I could ignore things and move on and maybe not have to sleep as much and forget and not be able to remember good god.
I don’t know what’s happened the last few days. I was sleeping or gone somewhere or comatose but I don’t know I really don’t know.
Can’t remember what happened before it started. I was driving somewhere (but I DON’T FUCKING DRIVE). It was quiet. The road seemed like the road was pulling me along like one of those toy racetracks instead of the car pushing me forward. Then he was there. Just for a fraction of a moment he was there. The car hit something I couldn’t see. I crashed through the front. I blocked my face with my arms oh fuck there’s cutsonmy armsfuckfuckfuck.
Woke up. Quiet. Overcast. Slightly damp. No wind. I was... back home. On a road through the woods near my town. I knew the way back so I walked. It took longer than I expected. When I made it into town it was quiet. There was no one. No one. I emerged from the road near the mall. The doors weren’t locked (why should it have been it was a Friday haha). There is nothing creepier than an empty food court. Again I saw him, further down the main hall. Of course, I legged it.
There was only one place I could go. Did I mention that I was living with my mother when this started? I just realized I don’t know what happened to her. I wasn’t reported missing. I walked home.
Eery. It’s eery to see the place you grew up as a lifeless husk. The subdivision was vacant. The playground I played in as a kid was motionless. Again. More running.
My house. The place we moved when I was six and my brother was eight. My fucking house. It was so beautiful. So beautiful with a big (X) on it. I opened the door and I saw the field.
BURN HIM. I can’t get the fucking words out of my head. WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT, TORTURER. WHY DON’T YOU KILL ME? WHY DOES IT HAVE TO HURT SO MUCH. BURN HIM.
Maybe I'll blow my brains out. Seethemalloverthenicewhitecarpetasthelightsgoout. Maybe I'll do that.
ReplyDeleteWhy won't you let me do it? Is it more torture? Is it the field again? THEFIELD. The field.
ReplyDeleteGlass, whatever the fuck is happening, you can endure it. Whatever you're seeing is probably not real. Arkady and Setoth went through similar things, and if they could do it, so can you.
ReplyDeleteJust hold on, He will get bored, or try to offer you a way to stop the pain... Ignore him. Spit in his (lack of) face, and hang on.
He's been in again. He's been ripping and tearing and BURNING and WRITING.
ReplyDeleteRules. Things I can't do. Things I must do. Things I want to do. Oh god. Oh god no. That doesn't change. He didn't write that. No. Last time. That doesn't change. No matter what that doesn't change. That was MY CHOICE. YOU DIDN'T MAKE ME DO IT. BURN HIM.
Oh god it hurts so much.
Shit. You don't want to do it. He makes it seem that way. Fight it. You can do it.
ReplyDeleteCalm down. Think for a moment. You already know those thoughts are not yours, so now that you know, you can ignore them, knowing they can never touch your real self.
ReplyDeleteYour mind is your own. It can try to trick you into thinking otherwise, but it's not true. All you have to do is stay calm.
Not the first time. April 7th. What thoughts are my own? Is my mission my own? Is he trying to MOLD me? HAS ANYTHING I'VE DONE BEEN MY OWN CHOICE?
ReplyDeleteIs the entity that calls himself the Glass Man independent? Is he just a construct? Am I his construct?
Oh god he won't let me DIE.
Glass Man, I don't know you, and you don't know me. It doesn't matter. Hang in there. In martial arts you learn that your mind can control your body, and your spirit can control your mind. Everything I've see so far shows me one thing, nothing controls your spirit but you. You can ask for help. Therefore it is still your own. Your spirit is still strong. I'm going to get through this with my family, and whatever the hell happened to you YOU ARE GOING TO GET THROUGH IT. Your spirit controls your mind, and your spirit is strong. Listen to Ms. Hakurei, and then you will control your mind. I'm here for you brother. We will survive.
ReplyDeleteYou'll never know unless you CALM DOWN and think rationally. The fact that you're even questioning all this is evidence that you're still in there somewhere.
ReplyDeleteAs soon as you stop panicking, It has one less weapon against you. Then you can start building a reasonable defense. And THEN you can take the time to explore your mind and purge what isn't yours. It's a process, and it takes time, but as long as you're willing it's never impossible.
I could help you, you know.
ReplyDeleteDie, I mean. He seems to want you around if only so you suffer. He hasn't shown himself to me in a while. If you want, I can try and do what I can to end this... game he's playing with you. Maybe you die. Maybe he shows up.
One of us wins either way.
Calming down.
ReplyDeleteQuestion: Can He operate doorknobs? Because if he can I am a good deal less safe than I think I am.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wO6GX27gb-g&feature=channel_video_title
ReplyDeleteThe safest place, as far as I can think up, is a windowless room with two doors. Keep your back to a wall and sit in such a way that you can see both doors. If you don't have access to such a room, from what you said, I think you'll still be alright.
ReplyDeleteHow are you feeling? Better, I hope?
Better. Yes, better. Not good, but at least thinking straight. I think I'm just gonna stay in the bathroom for a while. Just for a while.
ReplyDeleteGood. Take as long as you need. I'll be here.
ReplyDeleteCareful with backing yourself into a corner. Even if he can't work doors, proxies can.
ReplyDeleteNot all proxies require the use of doors. You are not on my list, however. Unless another with alike capabilities is latched to you I find it unlikely they will be able to get in through any other means. You are a dash safer in the meantime, unless He comes for you personally; in which case doorknobs are the least of your concern.
ReplyDeleteGlad you're OK. I think the Slender One is done with you for a while, but keep a knife handy in case a proxy shows up.
ReplyDelete